This creates a separation between what they say and what they do. For example, say someone proposes a plan at work. A person with passive-aggressive behavior may oppose the plan, but instead of voicing their opinion, they say that they agree with it. They may purposely miss deadlines, turn up late to meetings, and undermine the plan in other ways. She is upset with him, but instead of telling him that she is mad at him, she blasts the music on their laptop to bother him.
There is usually some disconnect between what a person with passive-aggressive behavior says and what they do. Their behavior often angers family members, friends, and co-workers.
However, the person may not be aware of their passive-aggressive behavior. However, both biological and environmental factors may contribute to the development of passive-aggressive behavior. Researchers believe people who exhibit passive-aggressive behaviors begin doing so in childhood. Parenting style, family dynamics, and other childhood influences may be contributing factors. Child abuse, neglect, and harsh punishment can also cause a person to develop passive-aggressive behaviors.
Substance abuse and low self-esteem are also thought to lead to this type of behavior. Underlying health conditions may result in behaviors that appear similar to passive-aggressive behavior.
Some mental health conditions may have symptoms that are misinterpreted as passive-aggressive behavior. These conditions include:. However, a trained mental health professional can help you identify a behavioral problem that requires treatment. Use precise geolocation data. Select personalised content. Create a personalised content profile. Measure ad performance. Select basic ads. Create a personalised ads profile.
Select personalised ads. Apply market research to generate audience insights. Measure content performance. Develop and improve products. List of Partners vendors. Passive-aggressive behaviors are those that involve acting indirectly aggressive rather than directly aggressive.
Passive-aggressive people regularly exhibit resistance to requests or demands from family and other individuals often by procrastinating , expressing sullenness, or acting stubborn.
Passive-aggressive behavior may manifest itself in a number of different ways. For example, a person might repeatedly make excuses to avoid certain people as a way of expressing their dislike or anger towards those individuals. In cases where the passive-aggressive person is angry, they might repeatedly claim that they are not mad or that they are fine — even when they are apparently furious and not okay.
Denying what they are feeling and refusing to be emotionally open , they are shutting down further communication and refusing to discuss the issue. Deliberately procrastinating is another characteristic of passive-aggressive behavior. When the passive-aggressive person is you, then you need to take the same steps and remind yourself that it is a behavior that you have the power to change.
Chill out. Attempting to begin a dialogue when one or both of you are in a very negative headspace will cause the person who behaves passive-aggressively to shut down or to escalate the situation. Take a minute to chill out and calm down before approaching each other and the issue.
Talk it out. Instead, ask your partner how he or she feels. The work of being in a successful relationship takes two people. As often as possible, come up with ideas for solutions to your issues together. Make your list of options as long and as wide-ranging as possible. List pros and cons. The best solution is the one where both of you win the most and lose the least. Execute the plan. Take your win-win solution and execute it.
It may take some time to see if it works. Did your solution work? Just live with the discontent. But the longer I did nothing, the more infuriated I became and the more likely I was to respond passive aggressively. Eventually I did have one conversation about Mary e. The person I spoke with was supportive, which made me feel better. On the flip side, of course, that conversation created ripples of discord in our little gym. Claim the space. I considered simply moving the equipment and taking over the space, but that felt obnoxious and it almost guaranteed a conflict, which is what I was trying to avoid.
Be direct. What I realized is that no matter what I do in a situation like that, I will end up feeling at least a little uncomfortable.
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